Always Inspired

For those of you who don't know the story of Bailey, here is his "tail" ;)

September 2008 was a particularly difficult month for me: my 17 year old dog Teddy was on his death bed, work was crazy as usual, I spent a weekend believing a misdiagnosis for multiple melanoma, and a long term romantic relationship had just abruptly ended.  With all that going on, and since I no longer planned to move to the Netherlands in 2009 to be with now-ex-boyfriend, I decided, hey, why not cheer myself up by getting a puppy. Good idea, right?  Four days after getting aforementioned cheer-me-up-pup, he was hit by a truck....right in front of me.....on the leash.

Before choosing Bailey, I spent a couple of weeks researching various rescue organizations in order to find the perfect new puppy.  Although Bailey's predecessor, Teddy, came from a reputable Cocker Spaniel breeder in NC nearly two decades before and was a wonderful dog, in the spirit of volunteerism I wanted to rescue a dog this time.  I also wanted a "low maintenance" dog; one that was young enough to be a puppy, but old enough to have moved past the potty training stage.  Naturally, a nine month old, friendly, outgoing Cocker from a highly respected organization (Oldies But Goodies, based in Alexandria VA) seemed like a great fit.  He was beat up, underweight, and a little surly, but I figured he'd turn into a love bug after hanging out with me for a little while. 

The first few days weren't great.  Bailey was aggressive with other dogs and nipped me multiple times.  I'd never had a dog like this before and so I second guessed my decision to adopt.  Then, on day four, thinking I'd give the guy a little treat and take a long lunch to go on a stroll with him, Bailey darted in front of an U-Haul truck going about 40mph while I watched, horrified, and tried to pull him out of the path of the oncoming vehicle.  As he tumbled in the undercarriage of the truck like an old shoe in a washing machine, I screamed.  The truck eventually spit him back out; he hit the curb in front of me. 

I will never forget the sound he made as he writhed in agony.  Clearly I was in shock since all I could manage to do in the immediate aftermath was stare down at him.  All I could think was "Stabilize him; don't move his back" like you do with humans with neck injuries. We'd been alone on our walk, then seemingly out of thin air, an old woman came to my side and said, "Pick him up, honey."  She put her arm around me as we walked to the apartment building's parking garage, we got in my car, she held Bailey in her lap, and I drove to the vet down the street.  She came in with me, and as I began explaining what had happened to the vets inside, she must've left.  I don't remember.  It's like she sort of drifted out on the fog of the moment.

The next thing I remember hearing was "It'll cost about $7,000 to save his life.  What do you want to do?"  I balked.  I only had this dog for four days and I was supposed to drop $7k on him because he was stupid enough to jump in front of a truck?  I felt guilty for being mad. I cried.  They said they'd keep him alive overnight but that was all they could promise.  I cried at the thought of him dying. I went home. I called my parents.  I called friends.  I cried again.  I stressed.  Finally, I called the rescue group from which I got him.  They acted suspicious at first, as if to insinuate that I was purposely reckless with him; thankfully, we quickly moved beyond that as they could hear the genuine sorrow in my voice, and they agreed to hold an emergency board meeting to decide what to do.  I prayed.  Then, I tried to sleep.

The next day, Oldies But Goodies http://www.cockerspanielrescue.com/ decided to pay for Bailey's emergency surgery. (Thank you!!!) Props to my friends Nora and Nate for driving down from Maryland to offer their emotional support right before the surgery and Megan and Francisco for their support throughout this time.  For the most part, though, everyone else told me to get rid of the dog.  I told myself I'd just help him get through the surgery, then give him back to the rescue group; it would be their problem to figure out and I didn't have the time, money, or emotion for this.
Well, Bailey got put back together like Humpty Dumpty, and what I'd hoped to be a low maintenance dog turned into a massive time commitment.  He couldn't walk, he couldn't function, he couldn't do much of anything but whimper and whine without my help.  I, with quite the bad back myself, had to lean over him, supporting him with a makeshift sling, crab walk behind him just to get him "walking" outside to go to the bathroom.  Fun times. 

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months.  Intensive care turned into physical therapy turned into more questions as the fractures healed but nerve damage remained.  I was just his "foster mom;"  I hadn't officially adopted him yet.  Everyone was still telling me to get rid of the dog which, logically-speaking, made sense to me.  I bought a dog to have as a hiking, running, adventure companion; he'd be better suited as the lap dog of some little old lady now, right? I didn't have time for this crap!  Yet I held on.  Nearly four months after the accident, the fractures had more than healed, the pins and screws were removed, but the nerve damage lingered.  Even after all the physical therapy I'd done with him, trying different braces, difference exercises, etc, he still dragged his back right paw.  But nerve damage is tricky....sometimes function can return late in the game.  Was I going to amputate this young dog's leg?  What if he just needed more time? more therapy?  What if I had his leg chopped off before it healed?  I couldn't deliberate forever, though, and at some point Oldies But Goodies gave me a week to make up my mind because if I decided to have the vet amputate, they'd pay for the surgery again; if after a week, however, I hadn't opted for the surgery, and I'd officially adopted him, all costs were mine to bare.   I consulted the vet.  "It's going to cost $5,000 to amputate."  Facts of life being what they are, I decided to take Bailey in for surgery that week.  Turns out his entire right leg was dead.  The vet said she'd never seen anything like it before - all of the muscles in the right leg were white and gray. Amputating ended up being the best decision after all. And a massive thanks to Oldies But Goodies for covering the second surgery.

The night I brought Bailey home from that surgery he wept like a person before finally falling asleep.  He slept through most of the next day, and in the late afternoon when he awoke, I wasn't sure what to expect.  I took him outside to go potty and, tugging at the leash, he begged to run.  So we ran.  One day after losing his leg, we ran together.

Bailey in the middle of a 12mi hike near Charlottesville, VA, June 2010

Seeing him then, I thought there was no way he'd ever look normal again.  His entire back right hindquarter was shaved bald and where his leg used to be, it looked like a drunk person had stapled his gaping skin back together. For months after the surgery, people stopped...stared....asked questions...pointed.  I thought, well, I'd stuck through it with this little guy, but there was no way he'd be the outdoor buddy I'd originally wanted him to be. 

Oh how wrong I was!  Bailey has since gone hiking, running, and swimming to his heart's content.  I figure if I can somehow teach him to ride a bike, we can do triathlons together! ;) 

Fast forward nearly two and a half years later......This past Sunday (June 26, 2011), what was supposed to be a hey-lets-just-check-out-this-trail trip at Alum Creek State Park in Delaware, OH turned into a Bailey-lead 6 mile single track all terrain run and swim.  Bailey is not content to idly walk through the forest - he wants to RUN!!! :)  To see this three legged Cocker Spaniel pulling as hard as he can at the leash, running as fast as he can over hilly trails, with what looks like an actual smile on his face, I am INSPIRED by the purity of his zest for life.   He is in the moment; he is happy; he is active and alive, and he has no concept of feeling sorry for himself. 

Keeping Bailey is a decision I constantly reflect on because of the impact he made on my life... and because the decision went against the advice of nearly everyone I consulted.  When everybody said "Get rid of him.  You don't have time for him.  You have too much stress in your life already" (perfectly reasonable advice),  my heart told me something else. My best decisions in life have been made this way: following my heart.  For the heart is where God speaks to me, inspires me, fills my "gut" with the strength to do difficult things. I know the heart is where God reaches me, and I know God can reach us in creative ways...yes, even through our pets.  I am thankful for that since Bailey teaches me to appreciate the little things in life.  He teaches me patience.  He makes me smile when I don't feel like smiling, or run when I don't feel like running.  He can be the perfect cuddle buddy on the couch, or, once outdoors, the adventure animal he was born to be running alongside me while I mountain bike, leading me on a trail run, jumping into lakes to chase ducks, or even attempting to play soccer from time to time by running after the ball and pouncing on top of it. He shows me that unexpected set backs can't keep you from pursuing what you love.  

Bailey inspires me.  What inspires you? Is there something in your life you're ignoring as inspiration because it doesn't fit within the preconceived box of motivational stories you think it should? or are you feeling sorry for yourself about something instead of being motivated by it to persevere beyond it or change it?   I encourage you not to be limited.  I encourage you to keep your three-legged dog ;)

*[Please also see this Bailey haiku :) http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8354543/rescue_dog.html?cat=47 ]

and http://obgcockerconnection.blogspot.com/2011/09/34-bailey.html

Paragliding near Mendoza, Argentina (November 2009)

Since I seem to always be traveling, this Semper Sarah entry is about Always Traveling Sarah :)

Day 1 of our Mendoza portion of the trip, Margie and I decided there'd be no half-a$sing things.  As soon as we dropped our bags off at our hotel (a 4-star place at which we scored an amazing deal), we strolled into town to book a reservation to go paragliding.  I think we only paid something like $80?? Whatever it was, I remember it being a bargain! Later, when Margie and I arrived at the "base camp" where all the hang gliding guides waited for their innocent tourist victims, we immediately sighted "the crazy guide" among the group. This guy was carrying on like a nut!  He was like a cartoon version of a South American Gumby-meets-Garth from Wayne's World character.  We chuckled to one another "I feel sorry for the person who gets THAT guy." Well, as I always say: "It's all fun and games till someone loses and eye."  That's my way of telling you, yup, you guessed it, about 20 minutes later when they partnered everyone up with a guide, I got Loco Lester!  This was both funny and NOT funny to me - I had to literally jump off the side of a cliff with this dude and trust that he knew what the heck he was doing!!!  Turns out he was actually really good at his job (gracias Dios!).  The video shows a snippet of me and Margie (nearby) before he took us through some crazy drops and turns.  When we landed about 20 minutes later, he gave me the biggest hug and was so cool about the whole thing.  It was one of my favorite Argentinian adventures. 

try  not to be jealous of how cool I look

More exciting stuff coming soon! I promise ;)....Starting with Argentinian Adventures

Since things really aren't THAT exciting right now, (is anyone else severely depressed by this gloomy weather in Columbus?!??!)  I thought maybe I'd backtrack in pieces here and there to add blurbs about some of my travels.  As much as I am an organization freak, I'm going to resist the urge to only write in exact chronological order, and just start dropping in stories as they come to mind or as I comb through my journal entries and see tasty tales here and there :)  Hope you enjoy!  I'll start with one of my all time faves....Margie and I like to call it "Mendoza PERFECT!"  Mendoza and the surrounding area was where we spent the final five days and four nights of our South American adventure, and things definitely ended on a high note for us.  Stay tuned for posts about that portion of the trip.

me&Margie near Mendoza, Argentina, about to go paragliding

Looking Up (pun intended)

Always TRYING to look up.....

Since I last wrote four days ago, things have continued to improve.  Starting the week off, Sunday, by "looking up" (at God), really helped to get things going in the right direction.  Now, the rest of that day wasn't particularly spectactular, and it ended up being too muddy to go mountain biking, but I got a lot done, and Pete got home safely that night from his Wiscosin "guys weekend" camping trip, so it was a good day. 

Monday morning I got up at 6am to go to a yoga class here at the apartment complex's gym.  I didn't sleep AT ALL Sunday night, so I "woke up" on the wrong side of the bed, did not feel like working out, wanted to punch my pillow out of frustration over not sleeping at all, and forget about the yoga class I signed up for.  But, before I could roll back over, I literally jumped out of the bed and ran to the class before I think myself out of it.  Turns out I was the only one who showed.  haha!!  Although it wasn't the most challenging yoga I've ever done, that was fine by me because it did exactly what I needed it to: cleared my mind, re-energized my body, and got my head back on straight.  I woke up like a sour puss and needed an attitude adjustment big time!....and it always amazes me how well yoga does that without even trying ;)  The rest of my day involved compiling some BreauxCo orders, computer reorg, visiting a couple boutiques in New Albany to pimp the BreauxCo line, and then off to footie practice with the Jills (The Columbus Jillaroos on FB http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Columbus-Jillaroos-Australian-Rules-Football-Club/133878553293534  ).  Yet another rainy stormy day in Columbus actually turned into a really nice one, so as usual, all that fresh air really revived me.

Tuesday morning I decided to start with yoga again, only this time I did it in the living room using a Rodney Yee DVD.  No joke, Bailey always tries to do yoga with me when I do it at home!! HAHA.  Gives more meaning to the pose "downward dog," huh???  Later I had a meeting with a boutique about BreauxCO, then back home to enjoy lunch with Pete, another boutique meeting about BreauxCo, then knocked out some good writing at the New Albany Starbucks.  Sitting in this Starbucks is like a little time warp for me.....It takes me straight back to my Starbucks hangin' days in the late 90's in Centreville VA.  First my sister worked there (when it was like "oh my gosh!!  our town got our first Starbucks!!") in the early/mid 90's and I'd hang out with her because I was the monkey-see-monkey-do lil sis, then my Dad worked there right after he retired from like 23 years in the Air Force, and then I worked there briefly my senior year in high school!! hahah.  Anyway, the Starbucks here is like that one in Centreville - everyone knows everyone's names, their kids' names, what sports they play, what they're up to, etc etc.  It's so cute.  Anyway, later that night I finally had a great work out!!!  i'd been feeling like crap again for more than a week, so a good pump up sesh really got the positive juices flowin for me :)

Wednesday (yesterday) I spent the entire first half of the day dealing with house crap again :( :( Uggghhhh!!!  It's very clear now that Pxx and his attorney have withheld information, lied, and effectively stolen thousands of dollars.  That's about all I want to say about it for now.  In the afternoon I used a sweet little Living Social coupon for a facial (only the second one in my life!) and loved it.  So that was a nice little treat.  Then, I headed over to the Starbucks and made some awesome progress on one of my book proposals!  Again, a rainy day somehow turned into a lovely evening, so as soon as I got home, I threw on my running clothes and shoes and darted out the door.  I had a great run!!!  whoo hooo!!!! :)  and I love when my runs turn into really good "God talks," too....definitely feel closest to Him when i'm outdoors and active:)  Anyway, then Pete and I went to see the movie, Bridesmaides.  WOW!!  That was HILARIOUS!  I was cry-laughing nearly from the get-go.  Had a couple emails waiting for me after the movie from Britt's dad with some awesome advice on the house situation.....which made me happy to have that great advice, but got my mind racing.  So, even though I was tired and ready for bed at 10pm, I didn't fall asleep until almost 2am b/c my mind was racing!!  Hey Mom and Dad, thanks for those insomnia genes!! (Bec, I know you hear me!!)

Thursday, today, up at 6am for a morning "bootcamp" class.  Um, ya, lets just say (having been to bootcamp myself), this one didn't quite fit its namesake! haha.  Oh well, it was a decent workout and it was good to get the blood flowin first thing this morning.  Then, I had to drive Pete to the airport so he could fly off to Atlanta for a two day work conference.  Back home to spend hours on the phone and email with MARFORRES sorting out orders issues from last year and figuring out how to avoid the same problem again this year.  (snore) Then, blerg, more house emails to draft up.  I did manage to get in another free teleseminar this afternoon, though, so that was cool; it was all about publicity and marketing stuff for books.  Again, though, these things are like little teasers for the product that the speaker is selling.    And now, here i am, typeity type typing at my computer, with Bailey literally on my feet, and me looking out the window wondering how another crappy day weather wise looks like it's turned into a nice afternoon.  I'm not complaining!  I gotta head off to (guys) footie practice here in about an hour and get me some fresh air!! ;)

Tomorrow - my goal is, if possible, don't get bogged down with CA house stuff.  Make more progress on the writing ideas that have been bumbling around in my head. Btw, Blog-newswise, I noticed that France, the Netherlands, Egypt, and Japan are now part of my audience.  Cool.

Semper Seeking

I started my Sunday (6/19/20) seeking out some spiritual fruit..... My previous two days were a mixed bag: Friday, I woke up with a general feeling of dis-inspiration which was only compounded by more CA house drama.  I tried to get myself recharged in the afternoon with a workout, but no avail! :( I was having a bad day and there didn't seem to be much I could do about it.  [see my blog "Status Update"]
Saturday was better, but not great.  I drove out to Dublin for some outdoor coed soccer I heard about through a member of the guys Footie team.  Three minutes into the game, the sky opened up, lightening struck, and all players were instructed to run to the field house.  I really felt like getting in the car and just going home.  However, I loitered briefly, and the storm passed.  A group of us stuck around to play an informal game.  I'm glad I stayed; I had fun and everyone was really nice.  Later that afternoon, I managed to get in a good lift workout which succeeded in further "lifting" my mood. ;)

Now to Sunday.....I got up early so I could make it to the 9:30 church service at Vineyard Church in Westerville.  Wow, megachurch!  Honestly, that turned me off a little.  Especially at this point in my life, I feel like I'm getting salesman'y pitched to about everything: Pxxxxxx's lawyer, the realtor in CA, book writing seminars, my brother's business.  Ugh, no more sales pitches, please!!  But I went in anyway; I'm glad that I did.  The pastor really hit home about with a lesson about how to know if you're listening to God when you're making major life decisions.  There was one metaphor he used that I particularly liked: God's plan for our life is not a paint by numbers picture, but an original work of art where Jesus serves as the model.  God does not expect us to look exactly like Christ, but to look at Him as a model, as an example of what God has in mind for the type of person He wants us to be.  Furthermore, beyond WHAT job, WHERE to live, etc, God asks more WHO will you be in that new job or HOW will you live in that new home.  These are subtle things to point out, but importantly, and a message I know and believe (that God cares about the state of our heart, not our outward accomplishments) but is worth hearing again and again.  It's not to say that God doesn't want us to accomplish things or succeed, but that through a happy state of our heart, a wholeness in our heart, a state of heart where we have a relationship with God, those successes will hopefully be in line with his "model" for us.  Also, I liked the metaphor that God doesn't give us the blueprint, he gives us a playbook.  Blueprints typically aren't deviated from at all, whereas a playbook allows for contingencies and on the spot decision making.  As red blooded Americans, I think a lot of us believe in the religion of self in a lot of ways.  That is, we, by our own hard work and great decision making ability, have gotten ourselves to where we are pretty much all on our own.  We don't want someone else imposing their plan on us or taking credit from us - to include God.  But God allows for free will, folks! :)  He really does.  And that, to me, is part of the playbook vs blueprint metaphor.  The same way you would consult coaches and trainers associated with the sport of the playbook you're studying, wouldn't you want to consult "coaches" and "trainers" about God?  Furthermore, don't be paralyzed by the idea that there is only one way to do it, to live life, to follow God.  God's desire for our lives is not a blueprint, but a game plan that He wants to be a part of.

As for the blue print for the rest of my day, I plan to work on my book proposal(s), go home, walk Bailey, go check out some mountain biking trails (if it's not raining), clean, do some BxCo inventory (ugh), then (yeah! :) ) pick Pete up at the airport tonight.

Wish me luck in my seeking

Too Soon Tuesday and Bye Bye Beardie

By the time my set departure date ((Too Soon) Tuesday, 14 June) rolled around, I hadn't quite figured out how to change my ticket without losing an arm and a leg or by sorely disappointing Pete and Bailey back home.  I was quite torn between staying in a place I love with a friend I love, where both the place and the person fill me with such a positive energy, and going home to see my man and pup that I love but to a place that doesn't quite "energize" me.  (Sorry, no offense Ohioites!) To Pete's credit, he was supportive of me staying or coming home.  However, I decided it was best for me to just head home as much as I wanted to stay in Colorado and soak in the fresh air, mountains, and non-stop laughter from my hoot of a friend, the little sister I never had, Britt.

I got up in the morning and went for a long walk and run; I felt yucky but was glad I got out and got moving.  Then Britt came home after working at the USAFA soccer camp that morning and took us on base to try to get something called an ISOPREP done.  Not worth going into the boring details on that, but it took up a chunk of the day until we basically had to get on the road to take me to Denver. 

We made better time than we expected, so (random) we stopped at  Wendy's to get frosty's, sit outside, and chat a little more before taking me to the airport. The check in at the airport was a mess.  I was scolded for arriving only an hour early.  Um, what?!  Since when is an hour not early enough for a domestic flight???  and was told "your bag probably wont make it."  Whatever, I made it through security and ran to my gate b/c that's what they told me to do, and after I arrived sweaty, I saw the flight wasn't even boarding yet.  Oh well.  So I killed a little time before boarding, and thank goodness the flight home was WAY smoother than the flight out.  ...and, yes, my bag arrived in Columbus, too.

Pete arrived at CMH with a clean shaven face!!!   BYE BYE BEARDIE!!! he's had a beard for about 8 months now, and even though I knew he shaved it off while I was gone, he just looks so different without it that I really had to adjust to his new look :)  As soon as I got in the car, Bailey squealed and wagged and jumped in my lap.  He is such a lovey puppy!  Upon returning to my apartment, I was greeted by a sweet surprise Pete had waiting for me: a super cute greeting card welcoming me home and two DVD's I wanted (127 Hours (which I haven't seen yet) and The Other Guys (have you heard my impression of Will Ferrell's tuna and lion monologue?? It's one of my favorites!)).  Sweet Pete got some major bonus points for all that :)

Status Report - 17 June 2011

South Korea, Turkey, Serbia, and South Africa are a handful of the countries newly added to my blog audience. Pretty cool! :)

Onto less exciting news. . . I'm faltering on the motivation front lately :( ...I don't know if I'm in a post-Colorado depression or what, but I'm really feeling like this whole I'm-gonna-write-a-book idea may be stupid.  Somebody slap me! either to tell me "no, it's not stupid" or "yes, it is, move on with your life."  I really feel like I'm in a stranger state right now than I anticipated......

I listened to a free webinar yesterday, Thursday, about how to write your book in 90 days.  Well, I got the basic tips, but it really was just a long infomercial for this lady's $1500 plan.  Surprisingly, $1500 isn't really that pricey compared to some of the other programs out there.  Should I do it???  Is that cheating??  I see all these celebrities writing books lately and I wonder "Are they REALLY writing their books???"  They are likely paying primo dollar to people to coach them into "writing" their book in 90 days or less, or have ghost writers, or do something else I can't imagine but which only money can buy.  Is this fair? is this "real" writing? does this mean the "art" of writing is lost when you can pay anyone some money to help you churn your latest book like any other commodity??  I thought writing a book would be a lot deeper than that, but am really leaning toward paying someone to "coach" me into getting this thing out of my head and onto paper!!

Regardless of the moral and fiscal dilemma I face when pondering whether or not to sign onto one of these programs, I at least got a few tips worth implementing in my book writing "plan."  As a creature of organization, it was no surprise  to hear that getting organized was key.  Beyond that though, I do need to re-emphasize to myself these points: Set a deadline, Create structure for my book, Follow Proven Success (get a coach/have people to which you are accountable), Don't go it alone (ie: find a writers' group), and Make firm writing appointments.

I'm not sure how many of you are really reading this thing or not! :)  but for those of you who are, and those of you who are friends, please help me in this journey!!  Please be part of my accountability group (if you want to be, that is).  And FYI, here's a little plan I have, as silly as it may sound: start getting dressed in the morning in regular clothes and go out somewhere else to write.  This whole I'm-gonna-work-from-home-and-it's-gonna-be-the-greatest-thing-ever actually kind of sucks sometimes. I am a social creature and need to get out of the house during the day more so than my daily work outs, Bailey walks, jaunts to the mailbox, and trips to the mall to participate in the never ending buy/return/buy/return cycle entails!!

Oh by the way, Pete is out of town and I can't figure out how to play a DVD on his TV!!!  am I a girl, or what?? hahaha.  All I wanna do is watch "The Other Guys"!!!